I was therefore left somewhat baffled when even after having accomplished all these goals, the euphoric high only lasted a short while. My blank, nonchalant, dissatisfied state of mind had set back in.
Destination Addiction: This term was coined by Dr. Robert Holden. It is a state of mind which refers to the idea that success or happiness is a destination that we are travelling to: “I’ll feel accomplished once I get married”. This is unfortunately limiting many of us from enjoying the ride.
Some of us suffer from destination addiction because we truly believe happiness is coming with the next big change. This trend is eminent amongst a lot of 20 something year olds who already are going through an existential crisis, fuelled by the added pressure of pursuing meaningful relationships in (often) the hope of it leading to marriage. This is followed by aspirations of being in a worthy professional career and then plans to have kids by a certain age.
I admit I was amongst those who think as such. Although a very special somebody (Shout out to KC, don’t get gassed lol) knocked me out of this mentality. Society has conditioned the vast majority of us to think about the journey of life in a very synchronized manner, which in itself is problematic. We are taught to go to school, get a job, get married, get in debt, work to pay off this debt, have kids, retire at 67 and then die. I don’t know about you but that’s just sad.
One of the major problems about destination addiction is that it robs you of the opportunity to learn about yourself in the moment and focuses on everything outside of your control. Destination addiction is deceitful because it makes you conclude that happiness is something you have to seek rather than create.
It’s not to say that we should not set out goals, but rather we should also take time to enjoy life as it is right now. Ineffectively, destination addiction focuses purely on finishes and not on purpose.
Life is the journey, not the destination.
For this reason, the answer lies in recognising that happiness never comes from the destination. Happiness is a choice we make. It doesn’t come from material possessions, circumstances or achievements. Rather, it comes from an attitude of gratitude. It comes from paying attention and cherishing the relationships and people we have been blessed with today.
Enjoy the journey of reaching your goals. The journey is what makes you YOU.