Have you ever looked in the mirror and wanted to change something about your appearance? For me that has always been my weight. The heaviest I've been on the scale has been 8 stones (50kg) and this didn’t even last two weeks before the weight dropped back down again. It’s a struggle. From secondary school I’ve always wanted to be slightly bigger. Not too big… a perfect UK size 8 would have been perfect, nothing above that and nothing less.
I’ve been told countless times that I should feel content about my fast metabolism, that lots of people supposedly struggle to lose weight. This would often be followed by an eye roll.. as I felt that was none of my business. My own mission was to add weight, not to ponder on the weight loss wishes of others. I felt like I looked inadequate, often comparing myself to people around me: “How I wish I had bigger thighs like hers”.
In honesty, the content of this blog was in fact supposed to focus on my weight gain struggles. But as I always do before writing blog posts, I did some research. And the first source I came across wasn’t encouraging; in fact it angered me. I quote:
“However being too thin as like skinny fashion models is disgusting. Not flabby, but healthy women with curvaceous hips or larger breasts like the classic hourglass figure, makes men salivate.”
Mind you, this is coming from an ‘expert’ who is supposed to be suggesting healthy weight gain tips to girls who are looking to add weight the healthy way.
Problem number 1: “However being too thin as like fashion models is disgusting”.
Body shaming is not nice, most especially from an expert who is supposed to be advising skinny girls on how to gain weight. I honestly cannot get my head around how someone can even have had the audacity to type these words into an article aimed at skinny girls. It is synonymous to an article aimed at bigger girls and the author typing; “However being too big as like plus size models is disgusting”.
I’ve noticed that people usually thread carefully when talking about bigger people; but when it comes to skinny people, they feel they can say anything and use all manner of negative adjectives to describe us: "disgusting"
Problem number 2: “Not flabby, but healthy women with curvaceous hips or large breasts like the classic hourglass figure, makes men salivate.”
With words such as "not flabby" it is really unsurprising to deem why an increasing amount of young girls have eating disorders and why young ladies in their 20's save and save to go under the knife to undergo surgical procedures. This is a misguided generalised unrealistic body expectation.
Additionally, not only are the size of a lady’s hips and breasts genetic, but for someone to further continue this ridiculous sentence with “makes men salivate” is just preposterous. That in itself is sexist, suggesting that the only reason a woman should aim to be a ‘healthy weight’ is to look good for men.
I’m baffled. Not only because this article has been read over one hundred and fifty thousand times, but because there are comments from skinny girls who clearly don’t have the mentioned curvaceous hips and large breasts, implying how they feel even more inadequate about themselves.
This post hasn’t gone quite as planned as I didn't exactly discuss my weight gain journey and struggles.. It has instead turned into a bit of a mini rant. But the rant was necessary, as it was an accurate example of the negative types of comments that a lot of skinny girls and myself included have faced.
Nevertheless, my mind set has largely changed from the first paragraph that I wrote on this post:
Have you ever looked in the mirror and wanted to change something about your appearance? For me that has always been my weight.
I currently am still (trying to) undergoing a weight gain journey because I genuinely am underweight, but I’ve realised that I’ve just got to first own who I am. Surely there must be a reason why God has made it so difficult to gain an inch of fat on my bones; and instead of complaining and feeling beat down whenever I don’t reach my target goal, it’s more important to feel comfortable in the body and size that I’m in right now, because essentially that’s ‘home’….. and it has been for the past 22 years.