Inspiration · Mental Health · Motivation

Who is Feeding Your Flame?

So I woke up today to everyone talking about Will Smith and a video which he posted up on instagram. Here is a transcript:

“Set your life on fire and seek those who fan your flames. The prerequisite for spending time with any person is that they nourish and inspire you – they feed your flame. Look at your last 5 text messages. Are those people feeding your flame or pissing on it?”

Image result for will smith


I first heard of this video on BBC radio 1xtra whilst driving into work. The presenter was discussing how ‘touched’ she felt when she first heard the video. I then got into work, opened up my social media and saw various accounts who had also shared the mentioned clip. – So for the sake of writing a post in 2018, I’ll kick off by focusing on Will Smith’s words of wisdom.

It’s interesting that it takes a famous person to reiterate such messages in order for it to gain public attention and sink in with the masses. I mean, these types of quotes appear daily on the timeline; but I guess it coming from millionaire Will Smith rather than a generic quotes page makes it somewhat more relatable? *scratches head* (That was sarcasm – in case you missed the memo).


Who Is Fanning Your Flame?

I have been practicing the latter for quite a while. It’s gotten to the point where I sometimes feel guilty because I’ve gone from being an altruistic people pleaser to now unapologetically being able to emotionally and mentally detach myself from the bullcrap (Often times aided by the God sent block button and by detaching myself from distressing situations).

Will Smith mentions that “the prerequisite for spending time with any person is that they nourish and inspire you – they feed your flame” I agree with this. But at the same time, through experience I have learnt that not everyone is the same (‘Duh’ right? But you’ll be surprised how many people expect people to act and react just how they do).

Image result for fanning flame

The reality is, not everyone you meet has something to offer or will be on the same level as you. Not everyone may necessarily even have your best interests at heart. Most importantly, everyone is sort of journeying through life at different paces – this is important to note.

Just because ‘A’ isn’t able to help you set up your business, doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t help you in a different aspect, or that they are not wishing the best for you. Someone who’s life is momentarily consumed with setting up a business, might misinterpret Will Smith’s video and assume that anyone who cannot contribute to the growth of their business isn’t ‘feeding their flame’.

That’s not quite how it works, and looking at it from such a point of view is actually quite problematic. I believe the best way to digest Will’s message is simply to accept people for who they are:

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Do you know someone that constantly lies? Cool. accept them for the liar that they are and know your limits.

Know someone who is constantly putting you down? Accept them for the insecure fellow that they are and keep your distance.

Do you have a friend that just takes, takes, and takes but never gives back? Accept them for the selfish person that they are and stop giving .

Do you know someone who just loves to show off? Nice. Accept them for the attention seeker that they are.

Stay exclusive though; Not everyone deserves a spot in your personal life.

“Look at your last 5 text messages. Are those people feeding your flame or pissing on it?”

  1. Work colleaguePissing on my flame? <jokes> 
  2. FriendFeeding my flame
  3. Work managerFeeding my flame 
  4. Group holiday chat – Pissing on my money (lol)
  5. Friend – Feeding my flame

I completed Will Smith’s challenge, just for entertainment purposes. I guess this means the vast majority of people in my most recent text messaging thread are feeding my flame? Then again, it’s hard to generalise on such a small sample size. But hopefully you get my point right?

Accepting things and people for what they are is a powerful tool in order to objectively get ahead and have peace of mind.

What are your thoughts on the mentioned Will Smith video/transcript?

Yours truly,

🌹V.O.L

As my first post of 2018 I’d like to wish everyone a happy new year. As you read this, I pray 2018 will be a year of growth and progression. I pray you have the grace to accept things for what they are, and in return I pray you shall be granted all your hearts desires. Continue to shine – Good always trumps evil 🤞🏾. Stay Blessed

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6 thoughts on “Who is Feeding Your Flame?

  1. I was nodding my head during his video. I like the part where you said to accept people for they are. You can’t force people to change. Accepting them and finding a way to navigate around them, such as keeping them at a distance, would be less energy draining

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ahem….

    Happy New er… Year.

    Okay I saw this video, though I didn’t know it got so popular but er yeah.

    I liked the way you analyzed it all. Understanding the people you move with, and knowing your limits with them.

    Good one b

    Liked by 1 person

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