As I type this there are roughly 4 hours left before 2019 embraces us into its unknown mysterious adventures. I have attempted to draft and write a perfect memoir to 2018 at least a dozen times this month. Now that time is running out, I have no choice but to give up with that idea, start afresh and simply let go.
In 2019 I would like to loosen up, enjoy life for what it is and to hopefully give up on my perfectionism.
Prior to 2018 starting, I wrote a self-motivating blog post, in the hopes of priming myself for all the wonderful wonders and fluffy positivity that I somewhat convinced myself 2018 would so intensely bring forth.
As one may probably be able to deduce from the subtle hint of sarcasm in the above paragraph, that hasn’t quite been the case.
In retrospect, I have come to the conclusion that my unrealistically high expectations, coupled by my lack of boundaries, had beneath the surface slowly been crumbling apart; patiently lurking around and waiting to give way into an eruption. Once the cracks could no longer tolerate the embarrassing naivety at which I was handling my daily life affairs, it finally gave way and erupted into a volcanic explosion; giving way to what came to be the year 2018.
You were a wake-up call. This year you taught me that although long-term planning is a good way to structure your goals, things will not always go as envisioned and that’s okay.
You reminded me that life isn’t a movie and that negative things do happen – and that is quite literally part of life.
You’ve humbled me and reminded me to cherish those closest to me because death does not discriminate, neither do terminal illnesses.
You’ve taught me the absolute importance of assertiveness and that of establishing boundaries. Thank you for this priceless lesson, the quality of my life and friendships have significantly improved since this lacking trait was worked upon.
You’ve taught me that friendships and relationships will come to an end and that’s okay because not everyone is supposed to journey all the way with you.
You’ve reminded me that it is okay to put yourself first and to say ‘no’ without feeling the need to justify or explain yourself.
You’ve humbled me with my spending habits – Lesson learnt.
You’ve taught me that people can only treat you the way you allow them to.
You’ve reiterated that every action has its consequences and that even though we may make mistakes, those mistakes do not define us. However what we do and how we handle things after those mistakes, possibly do.
You pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me realise that it is okay to start afresh.
You’ve taught me that love comes in different forms.
You’ve introduced me to lots of new people from different backgrounds and different sexualities. I am grateful for the ability to have been able to form insightful relationships with these individuals.
You’ve taught me that it is okay to walk away from jobs that don’t align with your personal and ethical values.
You’ve reminded me that when people project their negative behaviour and attitude towards you, its nothing personal, they have their own insecurities and issues which they are battling with.
You’ve taught me that yes it is good to want things done perfectly and to a high standard, but at the same time, one can only grow and learn from their mistakes.
You’ve reminded me not to judge a book by its cover. Things aren’t always as they seem.
You’ve made me tremendously self-aware. This time last year I am not who I am today, and for that I thank you.
You’ve taught me that it is okay to put myself first.
You were harsh and brutal with your lessons, but I have learnt from them, and I am extremely excited for the year 2019.
I am not going to make the same mistake in assuming 2019 will be perfect – but I am confident in how my more mature and self-assured self will handle the forthcoming wins and challenges.
Cheers to 2019