It has been a while since I have written on my blog. I would love to put the blame on life and its unpredictability; but a new mantra which I am presently enacting is that of accountability.
Trapped in-between whether to feel pleased about a certain ‘accomplishment’ or whether to feel disappointed with the level of accomplishment attained of a recent development – I choose to acknowledge and not to ignore the overpowering negative emotion currently clouding and dominating my being; for it will otherwise likely manifest itself in toxic ways. In acknowledging these negative emotions, I try not to dwell too much on the fact that things did not turn out as envisioned, but instead choose to reflect on how and why I went wrong.
I have for some time been living in a state of trance, daily dissociation and outright deceipt (towards myself). I allowed complacency to become a companion, and listened to the basic and mediocre inner voice within my head which would reassure me that everything would be alright; despite knowing within myself that faith without works is dead. I thoroughly dislike pity parties, and rather than wallow in the miserable grey bubble that is currently engulfing my being; I choose to escape to what I love doing best: reflecting and freely expressing myself in written form.
I believe that we all make mistakes. But continuously making the same mistakes over and over again, may also be considered to be a choice. I acknowledge that I chose to make this level of mistake and that I actively talked myself into believing that things would turn out okay in the end. The thing is, don’t be fooled.. things did turn out okay…. just not as brilliant as they could have been, and I nonchalantly actively allowed that to happen.
Our mistakes should not define us. However it is essential to learn from them in order to grow.
From this ‘mistake’ I have learnt that:
Complacency is not your friend.
Complacency acts as the fake friend that does not want to see you succeed.
Complacency will boldly and confidently talk you into believing that being mediocre is okay because ‘everyone else is’.
Complacency will make you believe that you shouldn’t step out of your comfort zone because of failure.
Complacency will make you believe that you shouldn’t actualise that business idea because it’s stupid.
Complacency will make you look back at your life with regret in old age.
Complacency is safe; but playing safe is also unlikely to yield extraordinary results.
I have been complacent – but an advanced type of complacency; for I have been complacent in such a way whereby I talked myself into believing that I wasn’t being complacent, and that I was in fact putting in the extra effort.
Granted, I was putting in some effort; but was the effort good enough? Were the resources available to me used to their fullest capacity? Was I passionate enough? Did I dedicate enough time? Am I even capable?
That’s the thing about life.. you get what you put in.
I accept my mistakes with both pride and regret, and would officially and publicly like to consider myself complacent-free.
What about you?
Are there aspects of your life where complacency takes the lead?
What will you do about it?